Dates

Why isn’t life like a Disney movie?

~ lorz83 ~ Leave a comment

Why is dating / trying to date so bloody hard?!? It’s honestly like a full time job that could give you RSS in the process! My views on dating and romance have always been very fairy-tale like, girl meets boy, girl falls in love, girl and boy live happily ever after. Well let me tell you, life is not Disney and parents should tell their little girls (and boys) this when they’re growing up. You won’t find seven little men Hi Ho-ing to help you find your prince (unless perhaps you work in some stables with a bunch of jockeys), you won’t first meet your prince being woken up by him with a kiss (if you are woken up by a complete stranger in this way I suggest testing out all known Body Combat moves, screaming loudly and calling the police) nor will Mr Charming track you down should you lose a shoe on an alcohol fuelled evening. And finally any street rats you come across are likely to remain rats and won’t become princes who ride magic carpets and Mrs Pots is unlikely to prettify any Beasts out there either.

I honestly don’t think I’m asking for the earth, when I’d simply like to find a tall, dark, handsome, chances are foreign (it’s my thing – moth to a flame and all) blokie who has a slight sarcastic arrogance about him, but will treat me like a princess (and have good genes, thinking ahead!)  Oh and a more recent addition to my list of requirements is voice – He needs to have a dreamy voice and accent, please.  It seems apparent following recent dates that my ‘Tall’ requirement is unlikely to be achieved as men these days appear to have stopped growing around the age of 15 and at a push have a height of 5ft8″!  I’m not the tallest of girls, 5ft7″ but I do like to don a sassy pair of heels (although following a visit to the doctors this week and being advised I have the onset of osteoarthritis in my knees flats are becoming my new best friend) and therefore ideally I’d like to meet someone who is at least 5ft9″ plus.

Having said this the last date I went on was perfect (and he’s probably 5ft8/9″ – it’s hard to gage when you’re similar heights I think).  I didn’t once compare him to SkoA, he was the perfect gentleman, he travelled to my town (he lives in East London) and it was a really lovely evening.  But since it went well and I quite like him it’s almost a dead cert that it won’t go any further as the pattern seemingly goes like this – I like them, they don’t like me and then vice versa, the ones I’ve written off adore me (god knows why – complete mystery!)  So as it stands I’m very much on the shelf, a dusty shelf pushed right to the back, likely to go out of date!

So April sucked, I hated that month and I had a feeling that I was going to hate August too.  I’d prepared myself for an answer to a question, I asked the question last month, holding my breath in the process, which I felt I’d been doing since August last year.  I got the answer, ‘No, not yet, not for a while yet’  I felt like I could breathe again; not fully, not full deep breathes but a little, just enough to get some oxygen into my lungs and give me a little more life.  Fast forward to this week and I find out the answer to my question wasn’t the ‘not for a while yet’ and in fact as I had thought whilst I’d held my breath before, the answer is actually ‘Yes!  Right now!’  It now feels like a bullet has been shot through my heart for a third time.  To quote Swifty “Band aids don’t fix bullet holes” so what the hell will?!?!  I’m hoping that I’ll find the answer with my trusty one again, off again love – Gym!  Avoiding games, will also undoubtedly help my heart recover.  A player will tell you not to hate the player, hate the game, and well that’s been my problem; I don’t hate the player (not even now) it’s the game I’m not a fan of.  That’s a bit of a lie, the game is lots of fun initially, it’s just when you start losing it slowly becomes shit and you get burnt!  Lesson learnt – Don’t play with fire (and don’t fall, head must at all times rule heart!!)

My on off love affair with the gym and fitness continues as usual.  I’ve recently started a diet plan (fallen off the wagon a little the past week or so, aching heart and buggered knees are to blame!) and Phil has given me some workouts to follow alongside my weekly PT sessions.  I know I say this in pretty much every post, but it is all about ‘Mission Love Me’.  I’m certain that once I conquer this sodding self-loathing and hatred towards myself and my body that I’ll be happy and in turn good things (beings) will come my way – Fingers and toes crossed.  I have also been told that I need to fish in different ponds!  My response to this remark (from a ‘happily’ married man) was “You find and tell me what pond I should fish in and I shall fish it!”  It’s highly unlikely he’ll be able to find me a pond as I am almost certain the majority are dried up! I will of course be the first to take that back should a recommend pond produce a tall, dark, handsome prince; but lets face it, going on past fishing excursions it’s more likely to produce frogs and toads!

This time last year I was in Italy and the year before that I was sunning myself in Sharm El Sheikh; today I’m stuck at work and it’s grey, wet and miserable (very reflective of my mood) outside.  Get me on a plane – I desperately need some R&R!!  My sister and I did have a lovely little visit to the beach last week.  We went ‘Out Out!’ to see Micky Flangan at the BIC in Bournemouth on his ‘An’ Another Fing’ Tour – It was HILARIOUS!!!  The two of us haven’t laughed that much in a long time and teamed with a stroll along the beach, sea air and a Margarita in Chiquitos it was just what the doctor order and laughter is definitely a marvellous drug.

So this is basically where I’m at right now: holey damaged heart, knackered knees, drinking a hideous concoction (it’s certainly not GIN!) in the mornings as per Phil and the diet, trying to again increase my gym visits and get some sass back!  I’m definitely still a work in progress, but i’m getting there, slowly.

L x

A 1/4 of mardiness

~ lorz83 ~ Leave a comment

How is March already? Where the heck did January and February vanish to? After my first post of 2017, just hours after Big Ben had chimed and I bid farewell to 2016, my aim was to get back on track with everything and to keep my blog up to date. Hmmm given that it’s now the 22nd March and this is my second post, it’s safe to say I’ve not got off to the best start!

I started January off with the best intentions only for them to get scuppered with me catching a sodding cold! My first gym visit of 2017 was as I had mentioned in my 1st January post on the New Year’s Day Bank Holiday Monday – I was sat outside waiting for the gym to open, such a keen bean. I think I managed one other visit that week and that was it until I felt well enough to hit the gym again on the 23rd January! Since I’ve recovered from my inconsiderate cough and cold I’ve really been trying to get my derriere back in the gym. Phil is pushing me in my PT sessions (I’m trying to be less moany – I told Phil it was my new years resolution, to be less of a moany bitch in our sessions and that was the real reason why I’d been poorly and not hitting the gym; meaning I got through a whole month of keeping this resolution haha). Phil made me do box jump thingies holding a weight a few weeks back – I can’t jump so this was the most hideous thing EVER! Plus he knows I’m single and he’s making me look fricking idiot! I think it’s pay back for all my past (and future) moaniness!!

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I felt rather sorry for myself in January with girl flu (the lesser strain of man flu) and then February came along and I was over the month before it had even begun! The shortest month of the year seemed to go on and on and on. At the start of the year I had high hopes that 2017 was going to be a good year, but now almost a quarter in I’m not really feeling it (what exactly ‘It’ is, I’m not entirely sure, but I’ve definitely not got the good vibes). One part of the year so far I have been a fan of however is my gin delivery from Craft Gin Club www.craftginclub.co.uk – In January I received the most delicious botanical gin distilled by Glendalough, Irelands first craft distillery (www.glendaloughdistillery.com) It’s sooooo good (a trip to the Emerald Isle is definitely on the cards to replenish supplies) My next bottle is due to land on my doorstep early April, I can’t wait!! #treatsforme

2017 finds me still very much single and living in hope that my Mr Right (I’ll settle for Mr Right Now) is waiting for me just around the corner (I obviously will not be holding my breath and do expect to see pigs fly before I happen to stumble across said Mr) I really wish I would stop falling for complete and utter arseholes and start seeing and liking some of the ‘Nice’ blokies that are out there – Why do us girls like the arrogant shits out there?!? Why do we rip our own hearts outs?!? Answers on a postcard please. I saw a post on Instagram the other week that I reposted, it said this: Email 12 years ago: ‘If you don’t forward this, you’ll be unlucky and single forever’ – Me 12 years ago: ‘LMAO, yeah right, OK’ – Me now: ‘Very much single and very unlucky. Shit’ I think Elite Daily could be onto something here, I shall be searching through my old emails for any chain mails so do expect to receive spam from me in your inbox; in the hope that I can rectify my singleton status! My sister told me that I might have to kiss a few more frogs before I find my Prince (frogs, more like pond scum) Depressing isn’t even the word!

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The new MotoGP season starts tomorrow – So perhaps my fave men (and their leathers) will pick my mood up a little; I’m certain my little trip to Barcelona in June for the Catalunya race will put a smile on my face (for a week at least) I loved mine and Mum’s trip there a few years ago, bikes, sights, beach, food and drinks – What’s not to love about that?!? Me and Sis had a fab weekend in Camden a few weeks back, we saw The Chainsmokers at The Roundhouse, which was amazing and had a lush meal at Gordon Ramsay’s York & Albany.  We’re also booked to go to Edinburgh for a weekend in July too, so I’ll be clocking up a few more Airmiles over the coming months and taking in some new scenery, so I’m looking forward to that.

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I did my first good deed for the year last week and gave blood (www.blood.co.uk) I’m O Negative so my blood is like liquid gold and in high demand following the winter months. Only 7% of the population are O -, people of other blood groups can be given O -, however we can only receive our blood group so I’m really chuffed that I was able to donate again (I’m booked in again for July, so fingers crossed the NHS Vampires will be able to find another vein to draw off another pint then)

To summarise the first three months of the year, I’ve been a proper mizzog (partly due to a horrible cold) I’m still single (I did go on a date a few weeks ago, but he’s not for me, doesn’t tick all the boxes on my check list) I’m trying to trim down my bum, tum and thighs at the gym (although it appears only boobage is disappearing much to my dismay) No games have been started or resumed (much to my disappointment) I’ve given blood, booked holidays and very much still love gin!

I promise I shall try and be less tardy and will write another post again soon (Warning – I have written April off already – SkoA reasons)

As always thanks for reading my rather dull, uneventful blog – Mwah

L x

3, lost count & zilch.

~ lorz83 ~ Leave a comment

I can’t believe how quickly last week flew! Seven days pasted in a flash. So what did last week see me getting up to? Well standard Monday – Starts with me as always being all Boomtown Rats asking the question “Tell me why I don’t like Mondays?” Once I’ve got halfway through the day my mardiness is at a high but stable level and I then have to try and psych myself up for PT. So I must admit I wasn’t looking forward to seeing Phil as I thought I would get told off for not going to the gym and for not doing that leg paralysing workout sheet he gave me the week before. To be honest I don’t think he was impressed with my lack of gym visits however I couldn’t walk; a simple visit to the toilet felt like it took about hour round trip, so there wasn’t much I could do really. Monday he went easy on me, thank god. But I’ve been told I need to bring my A Game this week – Eugh! This week Phil has told me we’ll be doing a HIIT session, now I’ve told him its more likely to be a LIIT or MIIT – I’ll fill you in next week (if I survive).

Tuesday evening I met up with my new gym buddy and fellow HWP member and we did our own little circuit sesh. We established that we are both moany bitches in our PT sessions, but apparently this isn’t reserved solely for our trainers, as we also bitched and moaned to ourselves doing the exercises we’d chosen and set up – Go figure. Wednesday as you know is my evening away from the gym. Thursday was the second HWP. Only half the group could attend this week, but we’re off to a promising start with a total of 11kg lost between the 5 of us there for weigh in. The food class covered portion control and the gym class this week worked on our core muscles. After the 30 minute gym class Helen was taking a Spin class and somehow managed to persuade 3 of us to join her. Well that may well be my first and last Spin class! It’s hard work and I was a sweaty mess at the end of the 45 minutes. I am however amazed that my legs did not ache at all post workout. I was convinced that I’d need a scooter to get around Friday/Saturday, but no, my legs completely surprised me and caused me no issues what so ever. Amazing! So perhaps I need to give Spin a second chance.

There was no gym Friday night (sorry Phil) because I had a dinner date with one of my besties for a very long overdue catch up and gossip. Now I had intended to be good and sensible and not actually drink lots (I’ll admit now that I also had a cheeky Pinot a lunch) but some evenings don’t go to plan and a number of cocktails were consumed – Oops! How do you go from classy civilised Cosmopolitans and Espresso Martini’s to copious messy cheap Hubba Bubba cocktails?? The evening goes from Sex and the City to Towie in a clink of a plastic glass. Oh dear. This being said I did as always have a fabulous evening – Thanks Chick – Mwah x

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Thankfully I had foreseen that Friday night could get a little messy and I’d pre-empted a Saturday morning hangover and so took some Ibuprofen at the start of the evening. I got to my sisters (my night out crash pad) around 3am was asleep by around 3:30am and alive and kicking at 8:30am Saturday morning. Impressive given the nasty cocktails we’d been drinking. Now although I was feeling fine, I still opted to have a lazy Saturday spending half the day with my sister before heading home. Sometimes a chilled out weekend is required (I am getting old after all).

Yesterday I had a lush day with my sister and mum and we went for a walk / hill climb at Beacon Hill. This place has been on our doorstep all these years, but it was actually the first time we’ve ever been there. Gorgeous views of the Berkshire and Hampshire countryside and Highclere Castle aka Downton Abbey. After our trek we headed back to my sisters for a scrummy roast dinner. Yummy. After dinner I headed home to watch the MotoGP race which saw my Yamaha boys clinching the first and second step of the podium – Yay. So the weekend concluded on a high just as it had started on Friday evening.

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Sadly there have been no dates this week and subsequently no board games played. A potential date with the cute Italian may be on the cards for Sunday, but nothing is set in stone just yet. I will of course keep you posted.

Hope you all have a fantabulous week.

L x

 

 

Dates, diets & dumbbells

~ lorz83 ~ 2 Comments

Perhaps you thought Phil had killed me off on the 1st of April given I’ve not written a post since the end of March – Well he hasn’t and I am very much here, alive and shuffling.

So what have I been up to in the 2 weeks since I wrote my last post. As you may remember a month or so ago I told you that I’d been asked to write some posts starting in April, the first of which you may have read yesterday. For the next 11 weeks I along with 9 others will be attending Newbury Nuffields Summer Healthy Weight Programme and I will be blogging about it so people can follow my progress and get some insight into what the course is all about. Unlike Weight Watchers where you count points or Slimming World where you have different coloured days and syns the HWP looks more at eating clean (makes me think of The Body Coach Joe Wicks and him saying “Midget Trees”) and making the right choices for each individual. We’re all different, we all break food down in different ways, this may be due to conditions or illnesses, lifestyle, age, intolerances any number of factors and so this course will educate us and help us find what works for us (and what doesn’t) and make the right choices. So Kim the Kiwi (I think I may start calling her Kimwi – What do you think Kim?) is going to help us with the foodie side of things. We all have to complete a food diary, whereby honesty is the best policy, which Kim will look at and advise if she believes changes can be made. She will also be providing us with recipes, she made some delicious protein bars for Thursdays introduction session (she was coming across a little like a feeder though so we may need watch out for that). Then there’s Helen who looks after the fitness side of the programme, so while Kim looks at what we put in our bodies, Helen looks at the output we can achieve from the food we’ve eaten to fuel our bodies and puts us through our paces to burn as much energy as possible. And she certainly had me burnt out Thursday evening – I was knackered! I believe there are still spaces on this current course if any of you are interested or perhaps after you’ve read my weekly posts you’d like to join the next round; contact Nuffield on 01635 899255 for more info.

My dates with Gym have been a little lacking lately, but the visits I have made I’ve tried to really work my Kim K off. In my last post I said how I was having my PT session on the Friday due to the Easter break, well I did go to the gym and I did see Phil however neither of us were really in the ‘zone’ so I spent the hour on the exercise bike and Phil sat with me and we just had a good old gossip – The perfect work out for me. Monday it was back to normal and PT straight after work. After Fridays skive, Phil had told me I needed to bring my ‘A Game’ to the gym for PT, well I think I went to the session at more of a B, possibly a B+ Game; Phil wasn’t standing for this and pushed me hard on the Wattbike and by the end of the workout I was at an A-, perhaps an A and he was relatively pleased with my efforts. On the Friday as part of the HWP I had a session with Steve (yes, I’m becoming a bit of a Personal Trainer hussy it would seem) who again put me through my paces on the Wattbike and then the Lateral Trainer. Its good to mix things up a little and work with other people as we all do things our own way. Phil did keep a beady eye on me whilst I was working out with Steve; this went against me on Monday when he really cranked my programme up a gear as apparently he’d seen how hard I was working for Steve so thought he could push me harder. Ouch! That’s all I can say. My legs have never felt so heavy and stiff in all my life, walking was the hardest task EVER! They still felt like lead Thursday evening when Helen had us doing circuits!

I told you last time that I’d been ‘playing’ Tinder and you may also recall that I went on a date at the end of February and I hadn’t ruled out seeing him again. Well I have seen him again, I saw him Wednesday before last and again yesterday evening. I’m not 100% certain there’s a spark there but we do get on well so who knows where it will go. I also went on a date last Sunday evening with a cute Italian (gorgeous accent and a designer wardrobe to make any girl jealous) and had a really nice time, so hopefully I’ll be seeing him again soon; watch this space.

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Well that should have you all caught up with what’s going on in the world of Me. PT tomorrow and week 2 of HWP on Thursday, with a gym and sister visit in between and perhaps a date who knows. Oh and its now only 9 weeks until I’ll be saying Ciao Firenze – So excited!

L x