workouts

Why isn’t life like a Disney movie?

~ lorz83 ~ Leave a comment

Why is dating / trying to date so bloody hard?!? It’s honestly like a full time job that could give you RSS in the process! My views on dating and romance have always been very fairy-tale like, girl meets boy, girl falls in love, girl and boy live happily ever after. Well let me tell you, life is not Disney and parents should tell their little girls (and boys) this when they’re growing up. You won’t find seven little men Hi Ho-ing to help you find your prince (unless perhaps you work in some stables with a bunch of jockeys), you won’t first meet your prince being woken up by him with a kiss (if you are woken up by a complete stranger in this way I suggest testing out all known Body Combat moves, screaming loudly and calling the police) nor will Mr Charming track you down should you lose a shoe on an alcohol fuelled evening. And finally any street rats you come across are likely to remain rats and won’t become princes who ride magic carpets and Mrs Pots is unlikely to prettify any Beasts out there either.

I honestly don’t think I’m asking for the earth, when I’d simply like to find a tall, dark, handsome, chances are foreign (it’s my thing – moth to a flame and all) blokie who has a slight sarcastic arrogance about him, but will treat me like a princess (and have good genes, thinking ahead!)  Oh and a more recent addition to my list of requirements is voice – He needs to have a dreamy voice and accent, please.  It seems apparent following recent dates that my ‘Tall’ requirement is unlikely to be achieved as men these days appear to have stopped growing around the age of 15 and at a push have a height of 5ft8″!  I’m not the tallest of girls, 5ft7″ but I do like to don a sassy pair of heels (although following a visit to the doctors this week and being advised I have the onset of osteoarthritis in my knees flats are becoming my new best friend) and therefore ideally I’d like to meet someone who is at least 5ft9″ plus.

Having said this the last date I went on was perfect (and he’s probably 5ft8/9″ – it’s hard to gage when you’re similar heights I think).  I didn’t once compare him to SkoA, he was the perfect gentleman, he travelled to my town (he lives in East London) and it was a really lovely evening.  But since it went well and I quite like him it’s almost a dead cert that it won’t go any further as the pattern seemingly goes like this – I like them, they don’t like me and then vice versa, the ones I’ve written off adore me (god knows why – complete mystery!)  So as it stands I’m very much on the shelf, a dusty shelf pushed right to the back, likely to go out of date!

So April sucked, I hated that month and I had a feeling that I was going to hate August too.  I’d prepared myself for an answer to a question, I asked the question last month, holding my breath in the process, which I felt I’d been doing since August last year.  I got the answer, ‘No, not yet, not for a while yet’  I felt like I could breathe again; not fully, not full deep breathes but a little, just enough to get some oxygen into my lungs and give me a little more life.  Fast forward to this week and I find out the answer to my question wasn’t the ‘not for a while yet’ and in fact as I had thought whilst I’d held my breath before, the answer is actually ‘Yes!  Right now!’  It now feels like a bullet has been shot through my heart for a third time.  To quote Swifty “Band aids don’t fix bullet holes” so what the hell will?!?!  I’m hoping that I’ll find the answer with my trusty one again, off again love – Gym!  Avoiding games, will also undoubtedly help my heart recover.  A player will tell you not to hate the player, hate the game, and well that’s been my problem; I don’t hate the player (not even now) it’s the game I’m not a fan of.  That’s a bit of a lie, the game is lots of fun initially, it’s just when you start losing it slowly becomes shit and you get burnt!  Lesson learnt – Don’t play with fire (and don’t fall, head must at all times rule heart!!)

My on off love affair with the gym and fitness continues as usual.  I’ve recently started a diet plan (fallen off the wagon a little the past week or so, aching heart and buggered knees are to blame!) and Phil has given me some workouts to follow alongside my weekly PT sessions.  I know I say this in pretty much every post, but it is all about ‘Mission Love Me’.  I’m certain that once I conquer this sodding self-loathing and hatred towards myself and my body that I’ll be happy and in turn good things (beings) will come my way – Fingers and toes crossed.  I have also been told that I need to fish in different ponds!  My response to this remark (from a ‘happily’ married man) was “You find and tell me what pond I should fish in and I shall fish it!”  It’s highly unlikely he’ll be able to find me a pond as I am almost certain the majority are dried up! I will of course be the first to take that back should a recommend pond produce a tall, dark, handsome prince; but lets face it, going on past fishing excursions it’s more likely to produce frogs and toads!

This time last year I was in Italy and the year before that I was sunning myself in Sharm El Sheikh; today I’m stuck at work and it’s grey, wet and miserable (very reflective of my mood) outside.  Get me on a plane – I desperately need some R&R!!  My sister and I did have a lovely little visit to the beach last week.  We went ‘Out Out!’ to see Micky Flangan at the BIC in Bournemouth on his ‘An’ Another Fing’ Tour – It was HILARIOUS!!!  The two of us haven’t laughed that much in a long time and teamed with a stroll along the beach, sea air and a Margarita in Chiquitos it was just what the doctor order and laughter is definitely a marvellous drug.

So this is basically where I’m at right now: holey damaged heart, knackered knees, drinking a hideous concoction (it’s certainly not GIN!) in the mornings as per Phil and the diet, trying to again increase my gym visits and get some sass back!  I’m definitely still a work in progress, but i’m getting there, slowly.

L x

A 1/4 of mardiness

~ lorz83 ~ Leave a comment

How is March already? Where the heck did January and February vanish to? After my first post of 2017, just hours after Big Ben had chimed and I bid farewell to 2016, my aim was to get back on track with everything and to keep my blog up to date. Hmmm given that it’s now the 22nd March and this is my second post, it’s safe to say I’ve not got off to the best start!

I started January off with the best intentions only for them to get scuppered with me catching a sodding cold! My first gym visit of 2017 was as I had mentioned in my 1st January post on the New Year’s Day Bank Holiday Monday – I was sat outside waiting for the gym to open, such a keen bean. I think I managed one other visit that week and that was it until I felt well enough to hit the gym again on the 23rd January! Since I’ve recovered from my inconsiderate cough and cold I’ve really been trying to get my derriere back in the gym. Phil is pushing me in my PT sessions (I’m trying to be less moany – I told Phil it was my new years resolution, to be less of a moany bitch in our sessions and that was the real reason why I’d been poorly and not hitting the gym; meaning I got through a whole month of keeping this resolution haha). Phil made me do box jump thingies holding a weight a few weeks back – I can’t jump so this was the most hideous thing EVER! Plus he knows I’m single and he’s making me look fricking idiot! I think it’s pay back for all my past (and future) moaniness!!

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I felt rather sorry for myself in January with girl flu (the lesser strain of man flu) and then February came along and I was over the month before it had even begun! The shortest month of the year seemed to go on and on and on. At the start of the year I had high hopes that 2017 was going to be a good year, but now almost a quarter in I’m not really feeling it (what exactly ‘It’ is, I’m not entirely sure, but I’ve definitely not got the good vibes). One part of the year so far I have been a fan of however is my gin delivery from Craft Gin Club www.craftginclub.co.uk – In January I received the most delicious botanical gin distilled by Glendalough, Irelands first craft distillery (www.glendaloughdistillery.com) It’s sooooo good (a trip to the Emerald Isle is definitely on the cards to replenish supplies) My next bottle is due to land on my doorstep early April, I can’t wait!! #treatsforme

2017 finds me still very much single and living in hope that my Mr Right (I’ll settle for Mr Right Now) is waiting for me just around the corner (I obviously will not be holding my breath and do expect to see pigs fly before I happen to stumble across said Mr) I really wish I would stop falling for complete and utter arseholes and start seeing and liking some of the ‘Nice’ blokies that are out there – Why do us girls like the arrogant shits out there?!? Why do we rip our own hearts outs?!? Answers on a postcard please. I saw a post on Instagram the other week that I reposted, it said this: Email 12 years ago: ‘If you don’t forward this, you’ll be unlucky and single forever’ – Me 12 years ago: ‘LMAO, yeah right, OK’ – Me now: ‘Very much single and very unlucky. Shit’ I think Elite Daily could be onto something here, I shall be searching through my old emails for any chain mails so do expect to receive spam from me in your inbox; in the hope that I can rectify my singleton status! My sister told me that I might have to kiss a few more frogs before I find my Prince (frogs, more like pond scum) Depressing isn’t even the word!

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The new MotoGP season starts tomorrow – So perhaps my fave men (and their leathers) will pick my mood up a little; I’m certain my little trip to Barcelona in June for the Catalunya race will put a smile on my face (for a week at least) I loved mine and Mum’s trip there a few years ago, bikes, sights, beach, food and drinks – What’s not to love about that?!? Me and Sis had a fab weekend in Camden a few weeks back, we saw The Chainsmokers at The Roundhouse, which was amazing and had a lush meal at Gordon Ramsay’s York & Albany.  We’re also booked to go to Edinburgh for a weekend in July too, so I’ll be clocking up a few more Airmiles over the coming months and taking in some new scenery, so I’m looking forward to that.

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I did my first good deed for the year last week and gave blood (www.blood.co.uk) I’m O Negative so my blood is like liquid gold and in high demand following the winter months. Only 7% of the population are O -, people of other blood groups can be given O -, however we can only receive our blood group so I’m really chuffed that I was able to donate again (I’m booked in again for July, so fingers crossed the NHS Vampires will be able to find another vein to draw off another pint then)

To summarise the first three months of the year, I’ve been a proper mizzog (partly due to a horrible cold) I’m still single (I did go on a date a few weeks ago, but he’s not for me, doesn’t tick all the boxes on my check list) I’m trying to trim down my bum, tum and thighs at the gym (although it appears only boobage is disappearing much to my dismay) No games have been started or resumed (much to my disappointment) I’ve given blood, booked holidays and very much still love gin!

I promise I shall try and be less tardy and will write another post again soon (Warning – I have written April off already – SkoA reasons)

As always thanks for reading my rather dull, uneventful blog – Mwah

L x

No more tears, my tiara is falling

~ lorz83 ~ Leave a comment

It’s such a gorgeous day today, the sun has been warm and shining. I’ve been up since just after 7am and have been to Body Combat and then spent the rest of the morning and early afternoon around my sisters house. Despite the lush weather and the endorphins from my morning workout I’m in the mopiest of moods. My hearts been a little broken by someone who doesn’t deserve it nor did he even know he had a piece of it to break. Tears have been cried, conversations re-run through my mind and messages re-read which conclude he’s an utter arse; yet I still care about him and can’t stop thinking about him! I’m certain that many women wouldn’t give a toss and wouldn’t shed a single tear for something they never had, but I’m such emotional one (I swear its being born under the sign of Cancer – Hard shell, soft centre) and I can’t help but feel shit; I’m a bitch with a heart after all. All good games come to an end at some point, I just prefer it when I’ve won, feeling like the loser completely sucks.

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So I need to start a new game, the game that prompted this blog – Mission Love Me!! As I’ve already mentioned I went to my second Body Combat class this morning, I worked up a real sweat (it helps when you’ve got someone to envisage punching the living daylights out of – Thank you Special Kind of Arse). I need to turn this deflated upsetting feeling around and use it as my drive to love myself (I can’t really blame SKoA for not loving me when I don’t even love myself).

My love hate relationship with good old Gym needs to be re-established, I need to get my Kim K down there as often as possible and make this body of mine as fabulous as possible – Fabulous body, gorgeous mind will equal a happy me (plus it will be nice to show certain A-holes what they’ve passed up on) I’m certain Phil and Charlotte will both help; Phil will kick me into shape at PT and Charlotte will be her lush self and will motivate me because she’s one of the nicest most gorgeous friends I have and she inspires me with everything she’s achieved (I need to bottle her up!)

I think I’m still massively in need of holiday. I’m in need of a break from everything and I think this has had an impact on my emotions over the past few weeks. I’ve got Florence (Part II) to look forward to and I’m going to Silverstone on the 1st September for 4 days (Day of Champion tickets have been booked – Fingers crossed I’ll bump into Valentino and he’ll fall in love with me). What else have I got to look forward to….Oh yes I’m seeing Alex Horne – The Horne Section next month and in October there’s Friends Fest and Valencia for the final MotoGP race of the season.

I had a really lovely catch up with two of my girlies last night – Prosecco can make things feel a little better and can also be entertaining when you’re taking pictures of the glasses filled with the sparkling bubbles, rearranging the table and annoying people surrounding us in the process – Oh well. I need to arrange more catch ups with my friends, I just don’t know where this year is vanishing to. I love having a busy diary not that my purse would necessarily agree. Being able to share the hilarity of my shambolic life with my friends and to have a giggle puts a smile on my face (I’m looking like a sad dog at the moment so I definitely need to get some dates arranged, I need to turn this frown upside down haha)

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This was just a short post, thought it might help to lessen my Mizzogness, I’m not convinced that it has, however I’ve not had weepy eyes for a while so that’s a bit of a positive.   My next post will probably be back to me moaning about how much I hate the gym (poor gym he’s always there for me and all I do is moan) but please feel free to remind me that my the blood sweat and tears will all be worth it! MISSION LOVE ME!

Thanks my lovelies.

L x

HWP – Week 4

~ lorz83 ~ Leave a comment

Week 4

Last week we discussed how sleep and stress can impact weight management.

Our daily lives are so fast paced these days with numerous factors that can cause us stress be it traffic (hands down this gets me riled up, I have terrible road rage!) work, family / friends, even health and weight can stress us out. When we are under stress our bodies undergo something called the ‘fight or flight’ response, whereby stress hormones are released.  Our response to this serge of hormones can often be to overeat, which in turn leads to increased body fat (which in my case then makes me depressed, which relates back to last week and emotional eating – Everything’s linked)

Cortisol, the stress hormone which makes us alert in the morning and sleepy at night can be disrupted by poor food and drink choices which can cause a topsy-turvy affect whereby we are sleepy in the morning and wired at night. Try avoiding stimulants such as sugar, caffeine, alcohol and nicotine to get some undisturbed Zzzzz.

Food class was followed with a 30 minute workout (Helen was back from her jollies and ready to make us all sweat!) Six of us stayed for the exercises this week, so in pairs (like Noah’s Arch) we worked our way through three different exercises.  I was paired with my new partner in crime, and like naughty school girls we giggled and chatted whilst completing the tasks (you need to have a laugh when you’re in the gym, it has to be fun)

Following on from our workout with Helen, Charlotte and I continued our gossip and exercise with a stint on the treadmill, cross trainer and lateral machine – Needless to say I was blimin’ knackered and had a very good night’s sleep – Yay.

Remember if you’re interested in taking part in the next HWP course or simply want some more information you can contact the team at Nuffield Newbury on 01635 569944.

L x

No Ed, my legs don’t work like the used to before!

~ lorz83 ~ Leave a comment

So here we are again another week has come and gone and I survived PT last Monday and my second Spin class yesterday – Yay me!

Last time you may recall I said that Phil had a HIIT workout planned for me. Well a HIIT session did take place, moany bitch Laura was on form, constantly whinging as Phil attempted to kill me. He has this obsession with making me run on the treadmill without turning it on! It’s just ridiculous – The belt is not long enough for starters for my legs to get up any form of speed and 45 seconds is too long to attempt it; 45 seconds honestly feels like 5 minutes. I was a sweaty disgusting mess by the end of my hour. Numerous expletives were used and I felt half dead, as luck would have it Phil will not be charged with manslaughter as I did survive and surprisingly I didn’t ache on Tuesday – Bonus. I did however suffer a broken nail, which I wasn’t best pleased with.

My PT started an hour later last week, so to kill a bit of time, I did what I do best and hit the shops for a spot of retail therapy. I thought I’d start having a little look around for holiday clothes (only 6 1/2 of weeks to go) and I left Next with two new pairs of shorts and a vest top. The shorts are actually already a little on the big size; I mentioned this to Phil

Me – I’ve bought some shorts ready for holiday, they’re a size 14 and they are already feeling a little loose – They’ll be ok for Florence though, I mean I probably wont lose any more weight before I go will I?

Phil – Well if you carry on the way you’re going and keep up with your gym visits, then yes, you could quite possibly drop a dress size.

Me – But I’ve NEVER been a size 12!

Phil – Well if you keep it up you might well be.

Me – Hmmm well perhaps I’ll keep hold of my new shorts for a few more weeks, I’ve got 28 days after all, but then maybe I’ll change them for a smaller size – Eek!!!

Now don’t get me wrong I’m loving the fact that my body is starting to change and take shape, and I love to shop, but the thought of having to buy a whole new wardrobe is actually a little daunting and stressful (not to mention expensive). With the weight and inch loss my feet do not want to be out done by and also appear to be shrinking. I normally wear a size 5, Monday evening I tried on a pair of 4 1/2 shoes in Next and they were a little big! So not only will I need to buy new work attire, casual and going out clothes, it looks like I’ll be needing a mass of new shoes too! I suppose on positive with the shoes is I’ll be able to buy from the kids range and save a few pennies on VAT.

Tuesday I went to the gym and did a sesh on the trusty bike – I lasted an hour and leisurely cycled just under 23km. Wednesday was my usual rest day, no gym, I did however get a bit of a lecture from my sister re dating. We’ve decided to agree to disagree.  Thursday was the third HWP class where we discussed emotional eating. When I think of emotional eating I feel like this is done when we are feel down and low, but of course that’s not always the case as when we are happy we also find ourselves eating (and drinking) perhaps in excess.

After the previous Fridays food and drink downfall, I had intending on being good, I failed. Friday lunch I went to the pub and had a scrummy goats cheese roll with chips and a cheeky glass of wine. Then my sister asked if I’d like to go round hers for a naughty dinner, so I ended up having a chicken korma – Massive OOPS! I did however go to the gym before consuming the curry so hopefully I’d burnt of a mouthful or two before I started eating.

Saturday my car was in the garage for its MOT – It’s failed. This lead to a rather angry, annoyed Laura who subsequently had a lazy day dossing around the house.   I caught up on some programmes recorded, which was good as I needed to free some space in preparation for this weeks MotoGP in Le Mans.

On Sunday we had another girlie Mummy and daughter afternoon stroll. We went to Snelsmore Common this week. Again another beautiful spot right on my doorstep that I’ve only been two a few times before (I was put off going there as a child as there are snakes slivering around up there). There are pathways to follow, which we used for most of our walk, but we did go off track slightly, which wasn’t the best idea for my sister who was wearing some white converses (these ended up very muddy as we trekked through some bogs)

Sunday evening I had another date with the cute Italian. We had a lovely dinner and then went back to his to watch a film – Overall an enjoyable night and end to a fab day.

Yesterday was Bank Holiday Monday so I didn’t have a PT session booked in with Phil. Knowing this you may be impressed to read that I went to my second Spin class! I didn’t get in from my date till gone 1am and when I got home I had a cup of tea for bed, so it was probably around 2am before I went to sleep. I’d set my alarm for 8am but actually woke up around 7:30am. I got up, had some breakfast (something I rarely do) and got dressed in my gym clothes ready for the 9:30am class. I went with my new gym buddy, fellow HWP attendee and moany bitch and we sat at the back of the room like naughty school girls. We didn’t however go unnoticed as Sam (who took the class) is my friends Personal Trainer, plus there were only 7 of us in the class. So normally my moany on a Monday is reserved for Phil, but yesterday Phil was off the hook and Sam witnessed my moody ‘Are you kidding me’ face as he kept telling us to increase the resistance. One of the tracks played was Ed Sheeran’s Thinking Out Loud – Jeez it’s no wonder Ed’s a millionaire, that song goes on for flippin’ ever! “When your legs don’t work like they used to before” No they don’t, they don’t work because Sam is outright mean (not a one off, he’s always mean apparently) and Mr Sheeran composes songs that last about 10 minutes!

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*disclaimer -Sam is not female, but this pic best represented me at the end of his torturous class yesterday*

So that’s me done, another week (and a bit) covered. Not sure what this week has lined up for me as yet (car’s going to the garage again tomorrow, so I’ll probably be angry at some point). Gym visit done tonight, night off tomorrow. I have decided that May is going to be my month for upping my game again at the gym and working hard to ‘Love Me’ before Florence, so be prepared for whingey Laura!  No dates set up as yet (the Italian is back home for a week, so won’t be seeing him). No other dinner dates planned that I’m aware of, so my next blog might be a little dull (my life is rather Eastenders though so I’m certain that won’t be the case)

Hope you all have a fantabulous week.

L x

HWP – Week’s 2 & 3

~ lorz83 ~ Leave a comment

Week 2

The Healthy Weight Programme kicked off properly on the 21st April, where fellow group members and I met with Kim and Helen for the first food club and second gym class. Due to other commitments only half of us made the session, but for those of us who did attend promising results are already being seen (on the scales at least) with a total weight loss of 11kg between 5 of us – Pretty impressive wouldn’t you say.

The first food class looked at portion control. We discussed our eating habits and portion sizes, looked at why we might eat more than we need to and what we can do to reduce the amount of food we consume. I guess it would be easy to think that simply eating smaller food portions will help with weight loss, however this isn’t necessarily the case as you need to be eating the right foods in the correct ratio. So we will all be trying to follow the 50/25/25 rule going forward – 50% of plate is for Vegetables (above ground) 25% is Protein and the other 25% Grains.

Following on from the food class, Helen set us a core muscle 30 minute workout. Now I’m not entirely sure I have any core muscles (my neck seemed to ache more than my tummy) but I did, along with the other ladies manage to complete the tasks set. As if this 30 minute session wasn’t enough for my poor old body to take, three of us foolishly followed Helen down stairs for a Spin class (what I thought would be my first and last)

Week 3

Last Thursday, Week 3, we discussed emotional eating, which affects all of us. I tend to think that emotional eating relates to feeling down, stressed perhaps; but it can of course be the complete opposite (who doesn’t enjoy going out for a slap up meal to celebrate a birthday, or another ‘happy’ event). There’s a biscuit lover amongst the group and she said that boredom is a trigger for her, so boredom leads to Bourbons – ‘Boredbons’.

Kim gave us all a sample weekly meal plan for us to use for guidance. I know that I’m still struggling with breakfasts as I faff around so much in the morning getting ready (hard to believe but some work does have to go into this youthful face of mine before I leave the house). I have been blitzing up smoothies and adding protein powder as recommended by Kim, it has been turning my smoothies a weird shade of green (looks like something Slimer’s left behind – hmmm appetising!)

Helen was of on her hollibobs so Emma looked after us and put us through our paces for the workout. I foolishly said that the kettlebell we were using to squat with was light so Emma kindly got me (just me – I’m Special) a heavier weight to use.

There was no change for me at weigh-in this week, but I really wasn’t expecting there to be as I’d been out the Friday before and I ate and drank lots (massive oops) so to stay the same I was actually really pleased. Lets see what Week 4 has install for us all – Eek!

L x